062 – Looking at the Dark and the Light and Finding Equilibrium
Have you ever thought about your impact on the world or how things would have been different had you never existed? Our guest, Satori Mateu, has. If it wasn’t for his grandmother, he wouldn’t be here. Today, he shares how he overcame a traumatic childhood, depression, and suicidal thoughts to become a karate master, best selling author, mental performance coach, and ended up working with Tony Robbins.
Michael met Satori at a conference and was struck by his zen like calm and understated strength of presence. In spite of his successes, Satori still carried with him the shame and guilt of his difficult childhood, so he dedicated his life to searching for answers. He now helps others transcend their negative thoughts and emotions and write a new story for themselves. He’s coached Olympic athletes, CEOs, celebrities and experts from multiple fields, and now he’s going to share his wisdom with us.
Topics Discussed Today
[05:34] Satori shares the story of his mom and grandmother and how he almost was never born.
[06:11] His dad used to hide from his grandfather out of fear of him.
[06:44] His parents married when his mother was 16 and his father was 20.
[06:59] As a child, his mother reminded him how much easier her life would be without him around.
[07:28] He became very independent, because he didn’t want to inconvenience his mother.
[07:57] He always had a feeling of emptiness like something was missing.
[08:28] As a martial arts instructor he started focusing on mindsets. He also noticed successful people also felt like something was missing.
[09:19] He began noticing patterns in people. He also realized that he was minimizing himself throughout his whole life.
[09:59] He then developed a strategy to dissolve minimization and self-doubt. He used this to remove his apologetic nature, and it improved his entire life.
[12:16] At one point, he contemplated suicide and realized that he could go through negative moments in his life and neutralize them.
[15:01] He took moments of guilt and shame and realized in order to feel the guilt and shame, he would have to only see the drawbacks of the moment.
[15:41] Look at the benefit of a moment to yourself and to the other person.
[16:31] He had an epiphany and decided to rewind the tapes one by one as they came to his brain. He would look at the benefits instead of the negative aspects of the situation.
[17:20] As he went through the moments, he realized that these moments of guilt and shame were the result of other people’s values placed upon him.
[18:58] Michael also had instances where he felt like he wasn’t worthy of love.
[20:51] He let go of his resentment when he realized that his parents had their own insecurities imprinted upon them.
[24:59] Challenging his boundaries and achieving new things helps Satori to grow.
[26:08] Our goals become more valuable when they impact other people and are bigger than ourselves.
[29:28] We have two sides. A dark side and a light side. We should embrace each side. Our deepest wants are on the dark side.
[32:13] Part of the challenge of life is recognizing that we all have some type of latent pathology.
[33:27] To recognize your shadow, write down everything that you connect to guilt and shame. The secret things are the dark side.
[34:46] Start looking at the moments with the most emotional intensity. What are the benefits to you and the other person.
[35:50] Once you see that there are just as many benefits as drawbacks you can find the point that feels neutral.
[36:25] When you put others on a pedestal, you are minimizing yourself.
[36:59] We all have the same personal traits in some shape or form.
[40:09] When we admire someone, find the opposite side of the great trait they have and don’t live in a fantasy.
[44:26] When you put a client on a pedestal, you can’t do business with them. When your client is an equal, then you can negotiate with them.
[45:25] Being consciously aware of a situation and then using a think key to address that situation.
[47:12] When you identify your blind spots you are seeing the other side.
[48:39] With the 6-month rule, the pathology will always percolate to the top within six months.
[52:28] Having the ability to reconcile fantasy with what is possible.
[53:28] A lot of personal development groups only focus on the positive.
[55:40] Satori was recently evacuated from his home because of the wildfires. The benefit of the entire thing was how people came together and reached out to each other.
[01:07:53] Satori is working on getting his message out, and he has his book Unshakable Wealth, and he is trying to grow his community.
[01:10:51] Get your Hollow Tube notebook and do these exercises.
[01:11:26] Let’s start with rewriting our story when it comes to guilt and shame.
[01:13:47] Embracing our dark side. Now this exercise is only for the brave. It may stir up some feelings, so use common sense. Don’t do it before a big job interview or if it may exacerbate PTSD. I recommend writing it on scrap paper and symbolically burning the paper when your done.
Links and Resources:
Uncle Michael @TheHollowTube on Twitter
Uncle Michael @TheHollowTube on Instagram
Michael Bays on Facebook
The Hollow Tube Facebook Page
Episode 61 – The Drunken Taoist: Daniele Bolelli
Get a Free Copy of Unshakable Wealth: How to 10X Your Life and Business without Apologies
Satori Mateu on Facebook
Satori Mateu on Instagram
@satorimateu on Twitter
“Pathology will rise to the top within six months.” Dr. Patrick Bays
“All those moments when I felt guilt and shame were other people’s values placed on me.” Satori Mateu
“The dark side is where your true desires and deepest wants live.” Satori Mateu
“Every personal trait that someone has we all have in some form.” Satori Mateu
“My self worth is tied up in my achievement of different goals.” Dr. Patrick Bays
“Disapproval gets imprinted upon you until you do something to correct it.” Dr. Michael Bays
“You have to have goals that are bigger than yourself.” Dr. Michael Bays
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