034 – Frustration, the Science of Achievement, the Art of Fulfillment, and Pie
Michael kicks off the show with a funny take he saw on Family Guy about having an over inflated sense of self and podcasting. Then we start talking about focusing on external things in our lives, and how if you are unhappy before making a major change such as plastic surgery, there is a good chance you will still be unhappy afterwards. Then we move on to frustration and how important it is to remain calm and focus when faced with stress or frustration. We also talk about rituals and marking your territory when competing or performing under pressure.
Patrick refers back to the dance of the golden ring and how the ring is a metaphor for life. We can use this ring to fend off blows as we become more confident. We also talk about how the quality of our emotional state affects the quality of our lives. We also talk about how choosing our emotions, and how we react is similar to having a pie we like as opposed to a pie we hate. Emotional pie is another metaphor for choosing how we react. We will talk about the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment on next week’s episode, so we have more time to go into detail.
Topics Discussed Today
[02:25] Michael gives an awesome welcome to the podcast. It’s a rip off from Family Guy. Very funny stuff!
[03:45] This week we will be talking about frustration, the science of achievement, the art of fulfillment and pie.
[03:52] How someone very close to us recently had a face lift. How we can be obsessed with how we present ourselves and externals things, yet we will remain in the same emotional home that we began with.
[05:48] This podcast is about purifying ourselves and peeling back the layers on the onion.
[05:51] Where’s the b? The Tucson T Town Throwdown. Michael’s superstar resident Dr. Barry’s team took first place. Her team was Beyond Big and Smalls.
[06:46] There was a team obstacle course where they were given a combination to a lock. The lock is what will make the difference between winning and losing with close teams. The first thing Michael heard her say was where’s the b? She adapted, adjusted, and unlocked the lock.
[09:52] Remaining calm and problem solving and not allowing frustration to derail you.
[12:11] Parker is working with a world class coach in Tucson for his discus training.
[13:36] How throwing a discus is actually a very technical thing. Parker was frustrated that his throws weren’t as far as he wanted. Michael talks about Parker because the things he goes through can be applied to anybody’s life.
[15:00] Parker’s coach said he was focused on the distance, so his form and technique were going out the window.
[16:47] How Tiger Woods changed his swing and went backwards for awhile.
[17:53] Parker’s coach wanted Parker to journal every step of the throwing process. All professional athletes and high performance players have rituals.
[19:03] The cure for frustration is focus. Mark your territory. Shake off the nerves and do some sprints or something to change your physiology. Breathe and make this part of your ritual.
[21:32] Constants and variables in every successful person. They do something before they perform. Doing things the same way every time will make you consistent.
[22:30] When entering the ring imagine it as your sacred circle and put the outcome way in the back of your mind.
[24:49] How professional athletes can be very superstitious. It’s about being constant.
[26:29] Relaxing and trusting that your body knows what to do through repetition.
[27:33] How Bainbridge Island is notorious for storms, and they lose power when there are storms.
[28:21] Frustration is being upset or annoyed by the ability to achieve or change something. Disappointing or thwarting. Actions plus expectations can equal frustration.
[29:26] We can get upset or frustrated with other people’s behavior.
[31:52] Patrick shares how he had to do a presentation for Allstate Insurance. His first one was in Seattle. His second one was near Spokane at Liberty Lake. The building had what looked like 1500 cubicles. The auditorium filled up, and then they piped the presentation to all of the Liberty Mutual offices.
[34:54] His first slide didn’t work, but fortunately he had a Bluetooth mouse that worked. The point is not to get frustrated and lose it in front of all of those people. Stay calm and solve the problem.
[37:38] Taking people on the journey with you when you have technical difficulties.
[38:42] The opposite of frustration.
[39:48] How we tend to quit after a long term goal or project. Amateurs quit and pros muscle through and keep making micro adjustments until the unlock the lock.
[41:42] Being self-aware and realizing when something isn’t working when you are by yourself and don’t have a coach or mentor to help you. Working your way through the problem and maintaining composure.
[42:43] How being in the ring is a metaphor for Parker’s life.
[43:39] The dance of the golden ring and using the ring to fend off blows and becoming more confident. The golden ring or shot put or discus ring is a great metaphor for life.
[44:30] Favorite pies pumpkin and pecan. How the quality of our emotional state determines the quality of our life.
[45:43] Looking back at our lives according to our emotional states. How emotional states can be looked at like a pie chart. The quality of our lives is directly proportional to the quality of our emotions.
[46:44] Do you want the most delicious pie you can imagine or the negative mince meat pie of your life? We choose the flavor of our pie at any given moment. Choosing your emotional pie in any given situation.
[49:48] Changing your situations or emotional focus.
[53:06] Wanting your life to be great. You don’t want to dread your life. You want a beautiful life with a joyful passionate state.
[54:14] Growing, learning and contributing makes most people happy.
[57:18] How an extraordinary life for one person may not be an extraordinary life for another. Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.
[58:51] Michael gives shoutouts and plays a song by Kaci Bays.
Links and Resources:
Uncle Michael @TheHollowTube on Twitter
Uncle Michael @TheHollowTube on Instagram
Michael Bays on Facebook
The Hollow Tube Facebook Page
016 – The Power to Shape Your Destiny
“We probably do have a little bit of an over inflated sense of self and a significant need to divulge information and hopefully some tidbits and pearls of wisdom to our listeners out there and around the world.” Dr. Patrick Bays
“We have over 100 combined years of life experience. We have experiential wisdom. We aren’t just bullshitting about what happens day to day. We talk about significant things.” Dr. Michael Bays
“If you are going to make any big change, you have to approach it from a position of strength and a place where you don’t need it to change your life, but you just want to make your life better.” Dr. Patrick Bays
“The first place that you have to start with is in your head. You have to start working on your mind and this ego thing. That is what this podcast is all about.” Dr. Michael Bays