035 – Being 100% Available for Your Kids and Family

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Parents struggle with being the best parent they can be. We want to teach our children in a way that expresses love. When we were children, we grew up learning from our parents by mimicking them. Our children do the same thing with us. What type of example are we setting for our kids? It’s important to be introspective and examine the type of examples and cues that we are setting for our kids and consciously examine and change them if needed.

We discuss this and just letting your kids know that you are there for them. Just like they will be there for you when you need them. We also discuss how the meaning of life is to teach. Along with, the science of achievement, and the art of fulfillment. We revisit unlocking the secret of your goals, and how once you have unlocked the secret, you can go through the portal of achievement.

Topics Discussed Today
[04:54] Patrick shares his fun night last night at the Washington Athletic Club boxing event. The first two matches were female boxers. Some of the boxers are Olympic caliber. The night ended with a game of Liar’s Poker.
[07:14] Gym adventures of naked guys hanging out in the locker room.
[09:32] Michael went to Barnes & Noble to get a couple of bookmarks. There was a book signing by Austin Thacker a young author who wrote a novel while recovering from cancer.
[11:37] Michael also got a haircut which includes conversation and feedback about the podcast. Chris brought up the episode where Michael was writing letters to Parker about his practice. Chris has been coaching his daughters soccer team. He is struggling with coaching and being a dad at the same time.
[14:51] He’s been using role play and language the kids are familiar with to teach the kids soccer.
[15:46] Kids want to know that you always 100% there for them. They learn everything from watching us.
[16:50] The id is the unconscious mind based on instincts. The ego is the cognitive rationale mind. The superego is the morality or the conscious portion of our mind. All of the morality that comes from us as kids comes from our parents.
[17:56] We can control what we teach our children derived from our subconscious. What we teach our children, our children will teach their children.
[19:18] How important it is to look inside yourself. You can have a conscious override to that system of mimicking your parents and what you are showing your kids.
[20:53] How we get dopamine surges as we move forward and as kids model our good behavior.
[21:40] Michael shares a story of how he got drunk in front of his son. He was confused and disappointed all at the same time.
[23:00] The unexamined life is not worth living. We have to look introspectively at ourselves.
[24:58] Michael had a retina detachment and his mom and dad drove down and helped him. Michael dad was there when his wife left and when his dog died. They were there when he needed them.
[27:07] They also stayed there for their mom in the last stages of her cancer battle. Knowing that they were there is what she wanted.
[28:44] Raising your kids the way you want them to take care of you when the time comes.
[29:19] Imagine yourself through your kids eyes in 10 years.
[30:06] Think about what kind of values will take you to the next level. What is your north star.
[31:09] Living an ego centric life. Establish the superego so that it is foolproof.
[32:20] If you don’t have an example in your life. Imagine that person and make them up.
[32:50] There are other people who have influenced kids besides their parents.
[35:28] Kids want to feel loved and nurtured and know that parents are there and available.
[36:02] What would it take to live an extraordinary quality of life or a life that you are proud of.
[36:56] The most important thing in life is whether your children are a reflection of who you want to be.
[38:04] The meaning of life is to teach.
[38:48] Living a life on your own terms. Whatever that means to you. A life with good relationships, health, and connection to god and a higher power.  
[40:00] Not having a sense of meaning is devastating.
[40:15] The science of achievement and the art of fulfillment.
[40:19] A thing done successfully. Something that you have worked hard for. There is a formula for every achievement.
[42:15] You can any goal you want, but you have to look through that and find the secret of attaining that goal and unlocking the lock. Have a crystal clear vision of that goal.
[43:34] The number one energy of creation is focus and being able to visualize.
[44:23] The reticular activating system takes all of the input through our senses except for smell. It filters out what is important. This is important for our survival. When you focus on something you recognize patterns of it.
[46:25] The only reason perception exists is to show us to survive.
[48:21] All instincts and reflexes are genetically coded.
[49:17] Focus is a force of creation. Action take massive action.
[51:24] Finding the components necessary to figuring out a goal. Critical mass or the amount of product to make a process self-sustaining. Getting 10% or our brain to buy in. The tipping point is 10%.
[54:28] Grace comes in when you are totally aligned with your higher purpose. This is the faith that everything will work out in the end.
[55:21] Being able to achieve your goals with humility
[56:20] Why can we still be unhappy when we achieve a goal? A goal has to have a higher payoff. Do it in heroic way with humility. Self-actualization beyond basic needs makes you feel fulfilled.
[59:11] Stepping stones and moving forward with positive reinforcement. You need a non-tangible beyond material payoff.
[01:00:30] Growing and mastering a skill. Progress equals success. Giving more than we are receiving. Maintains balance. Being at peace with yourself, and you are happy.
[01:02:28] Leave the planet with a sense of joy.

Links and Resources:
Uncle Michael @TheHollowTube on Twitter
Uncle Michael @TheHollowTube on Instagram
Michael Bays on Facebook
The Hollow Tube Facebook Page
Washington Athletic Club
My Hand Mitten by Austin Thacker
Circa 79
Sigmund Freud
Cliff Ravenscraft
The Tipping Point
Edward Demings
Jenn Cristy
One Pulse Entertainment

Quotes:
“All of the information that is coming from your subconscious that you learned from your parents can be discarded. You can control what you are perpetuating to your offspring. ” Dr. Patrick Bays
“Kids just want you to be there. They want you to be this constant presence in their lives.” Dr. Michael Bays
“We have a genetic predisposition to mimic or copy things. The people we copy from the most are our parents.” Dr. Patrick Bays
“We don’t give our parents enough credit. Our mom and dad were the type of people that if we needed them they would be there.” Dr. Michael Bays
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