065 – Bringing Harmony Into Our Lives With Diane Halfman
We are back after taking some personal time to be with family and those people who are most important to us. We have an exciting show and an amazing guest today. Do you remember Episode 64 with Audience Whisperer Kerry Mensior? Today’s guest is life coach, author, and speaker Diane Halfman who just happens to be Kerry’s significant other.
Diane has an amazing energy and presence. She also has a really interesting story. She is one of those people who could do or be anything. She found herself at age 25 alone with two daughters. She had bills to pay and ended up becoming a police officer. She was suddenly the only woman on the force working undercover as a prostitute during a sting operation for the Green River Serial Killer case.
She was thrust into a world that she had never imagined. She also took great pains to keep her work world and her world as a mom separate. Over the years, she faced sadness, terror, chaos, and darkness all the while finding ways to keep herself grounded. She learned about facing fear, inner strength, and having one’s own values. All of this prepared her for what she does today helping others find joy and show up powerfully in the world doing something that she calls the Spa Life.
Topics Discussed Today
[09:42] Michael met Diane at the Bo Eason concert.
[10:35] Diane’s dad really wanted her to succeed and wanted her to go into law or medicine. She got a degree in Criminal Justice to prepare for law school, but realized it was too boring and ended up taking a police officer exam.
[11:50] They were actually looking for undercover women to be part of the Green River Serial Killer case. She took the test, spent three months in the academy, and then she was on the street.
[12:02] She had no idea what was actually going on. It was a rude awakening.
[13:57] She was the only woman, and none of the officer’s wives wanted them to ride with her.
[15:17] She was 25 when she started on the force, and prior to that she had led a sheltered life.
[16:32] She was determined to have a life outside of the department and draw a line.
[18:56] She was determined that she had to go home at night, because she had daughters. She had to have a certain presence about her.
[22:16] She taught D.A.R.E. with 5th graders. Many of the kids couldn’t see beyond the neighborhoods that they were in. She was also exposed to many gang issues and was the first to arrive where a 15 year old was shot.
[26:11] You have to have things that ground you to take away the darkness of witnessing these kinds of things.
[28:12] How can we have the person in front of us matter? Give that extra smile or something.
[31:25] We can be the best we can be or we can give away our power. We always have to come back to ourselves and that what we do and who we are is enough.
[35:21] One of her last cases had a profound effect on her. These things make you look at life completely different. It was a murder kidnap case. She was also in a bad relationship and at the precise moment when her boyfriend called and asked what was for dinner, she knew that was not the person she wanted to be or the example she wanted to set for her kids.
[41:57] As Diane was transitioning out of the department, she was part of a pilot project called The Ultimate Game of Life. It was about building your life on what made you happy first, then healthy, and then wealthy.
[42:18] On one of the calls her mentor asked her if she had all of the time and money in the world what would she be doing. Her answer, Living the Spa Life.
[42:34] By taking care of yourself on an extreme level, you can show up as who you were meant to be.
[43:11] There may not be balance, but there can be harmony. We are the navigator of our own experience here.
[43:57] SPA is seek power always. The power is the power within us.
[45:24] You can choose whether your going to walk around the world as a victim.
[46:33] Trusting your intuition makes a difference as who you show up in the world. It’s a muscle that you can cultivate. Is it coming from your head, your heart, or your gut.
[49:31] Emotion moves through your body in 90 second cycles.
[52:18] Give yourself time and space and take a minute and three deep breaths. You can have better communication when you are not angry. Know how you process things.
[56:07] Become your own cop, because awareness is the first step. Be able to change your emotions.
[58:42] The four areas of power are synonymous with the four areas of awareness. What is happening with your body?
[01:00:46] Physical power and having self-defense skills. Mental powers and nuance and noticing id where the awareness comes about. Emotional power and knowing your emotions and being able to express them and not letting them bottle up. Spiritual power and intuition.
[01:04:41] Diane talks about techniques for healing and releasing trauma.
[01:07:30] Shifting your perspective to not be a victim and do something good can lead to the benefit of the next step.
[01:09:12] It’s a choice to decide to have a positive mental attitude.
[01:12:42] Diane shares her heros including Bo Eason and Rolf Benirschke, and Drew Brees.
[01:20:48] We have expectations about how our life should be. How we handle curve balls is what makes all of the difference. What is the learning in things that life presents? Put something positive in your brain everyday.
Links and Resources:
“When we’re not paying attention, the months and the years fly by and before you know it they’re gone. If we can stop being so busy and so distracted, and be fully present and aware and really pay attention then we can slow time down to a trickle.” Dr. Michael Bays
“Everyone has different aspects of themselves that they show or don’t show. We have a public life, a private life, and we also have a secret life.” Diane Halfman
“So many times fear is a facade, and it’s how we react to it and how we show up with it that affects how we move through it.” Diane Halfman