033 – Dealing With What Life Gives You

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Everything we experience in life is experienced through our five senses in some ways. Yet, sometimes for one reason or another people lose one or more of these senses. In cases like this we learn to deal with what life gives to us. A couple examples we talk about are how Patrick is getting some dental work done and was worried that he would lose his ability to talk, and how Michael had to remove an eye of a cancer a patient.

We are who we are even if we lose a sense or a limb. We are our minds, brains, energy, spirit, and more. We also talk about the show Catfish and how it is a window into the world of millenials. We also talk about self-esteem, identity, and the six basics needs in life. We also talk about how filling these needs can become an addiction, fulfilling our top needs, and more.

Topics Discussed Today
[02:25] Patrick is getting some cosmetic work done on his teeth, and he has had braces on his uppers for a couple of months, and he just got braces on his lowers. He is now a true metal mouth like a teenager. It’s only going to be for a few months. His biggest fear was not being able to talk, but once he starts talking he just forgets about it.  
[05:24] Michael did an orbital exenteration for a cancer patient. Now the patient has to get an eye patch, prosthesis, or maybe some type of skin flap.
[07:48] How we are our mind, spirit, energy, and physical stature. Even without a limb or one of our senses, we are all the things we say we are. Being a human is exciting because of all of the facets that we are made of.
[10:22] The show Catfish and how one of the parties disappear when it is time to meet because they aren’t who they say they are.
[11:58] What would compel someone to steal an identity in order to have an online relationship? Lack of self-esteem.
[12:45] Finding and filling our one or two predominate needs. For the catfish kids their biggest need is a need for significance and love and connection.
[14:31] How love is the oxygen of life. We sacrifice our values to fulfill our needs.
[15:08] Why would the person being deceived want to meet with the deceiver?
[16:02] Most people are forgiving even when they feel something was taken from them. They feel compassion and eventually want to give them a break.
[17:16] Human nature is based on trust. Losing trust makes people bitter and hesitant to give themselves to someone in the future.
[17:54] Being introspective and looking at ourselves.
[18:38] There is no more vulnerability that you can give than when you are in a relationship. After someone is betrayed, it is difficult to ever trust them again. It creates an underlying smoldering tension.
[20:37] Socrates and introspection. The unexamined life isn’t worth living. The importance of being introspective on a daily basis.
[22:32] We create our behavior bases on our values. How Tony Robbins tries to get people dig deep and think about things. Going to the deepest parts of your brain and mind can be a little scary.
[23:43] Existential crisis of meaning. How there is an epidemic of drug and alcohol use with high school kids. Things seem to have escalated. Social isolation has escalated.
[25:44] Modern adolescents are trying to dull emotions through substances. Adults binge on food, or Netflix, or working too much. There is no way to dull negative emotions by medicating them without medicating joy.  
[28:06] How it’s becoming popular to become a victim.
[28:22] Questioning if life has value or feeling like life is meaningless.
[29:05] Reasons people feel like their life has no meaning include depression, sleep deprivation,prolonged isolation, and a major psychological trauma like death or divorce. Complexity and unpredictability have a lot to do with the feeling that life has no meaning.
[30:02] How Nihilist believed that life has no meaning. The meaning is just to exist. Anchoring or fixation points that allows us to focus attention in a consistent manner. Religious and god like people with ethos and a code of ethics. These people have their credo and values. Dismissing anything disturbing from your consciousness. Compartmentalization. Sublimation and refocusing on negative outlets to positive outlets. Dealing with existential crisis of meaning.
[32:31] How everything starts with the individual. Know what you stand for.
[33:32] Prioritize and stick with your values.
[35:08] Having the best possible goal. A goal that is good for you now and good for all time. Having a vision for your life and something bigger than you. Thinking about what’s next and having a target to aim at.
[37:16] Figuring out what your best goal is. Michael shares his life’s mission, and how he is going to be a hollow tube. His ultimate goal is to keep expanding his spirit.
[38:28] Go through your values. Write them down and then prioritize them.
[39:10] Michael’s current number 1 value is passion. He also prioritizes his other main values. Judgement is the number thing that Michael is trying to get away from.
[41:34] How people’s insecurities are caused by lack of self esteem. Negative reinforcement can create negative self identification.
[45:47] Michael shares a story about his dad. When Michael was in 4th grade, he went without talking to his dad to see how long it would take before his dad noticed. He made it to about a month.
[51:25] How we have the power to choose our response and not blaming. Our decisions shape our destiny.
[53:36] How stepping back, breathing, and thinking before responding. Having a confident inner smile. I got this.
[54:36] Write down your values. Imagine your ideal self in the future.
[57:06] Next week we are talking about the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment.

Links and Resources:
Uncle Michael @TheHollowTube on Twitter
Uncle Michael @TheHollowTube on Instagram
Michael Bays on Facebook
The Hollow Tube Facebook Page
Catfish
Dante’s Inferno
The Essentials of Philosophy
Socrates
019 – Who Will You Be When the Big Storm Comes
020 – Who Will You Be When the Storm Comes? Continued
032 – Date With Destiny with Kaci Bays
The Last Messiah
Hamlet
Jordan B. Peterson
Viktor Frankl
Man’s Search for Meaning
Kaci Bays
CrossFit Now

Quotes:
“It makes me nauseous to think of removing a part of one of the main senses, but we learn to adjust to what life hands us.” Dr. Patrick Bays
“Everything we ever encounter in life comes through our five senses.” Dr. Michael Bays
“I feel sorry for the person getting catfished. They are falling in love, and they feel like their life is changing for the better, yet the whole thing is built on a lie.” Dr. Patrick Bays
“We have six basic needs in life including a need for certainty, variety, significance, love and connection, growth, and contribution.” Dr. Michael Bays
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